


in the midst of everything, all i see is you

by MavenMorozova



Series: tlc ship weeks 2020 [1]
Category: Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo, The Grishaverse - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Blood, Childhood Memories, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Drug Addiction, F/M, Fade to Black, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, One Shot Collection, POV Jacin Clay, POV Second Person, POV Third Person Limited, POV Winter Hayle-Blackburn, Poetry, Secret Relationship, Short One Shot, Songfic, The Lunar Chronicles Ship Weeks, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25753780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MavenMorozova/pseuds/MavenMorozova
Summary: a collection of one-shots/drabbles for jacinter week!all one shots are rated t.ch1: delirium (star wars au)ch2: by the lake (grishaverse au)ch3: sometimes she dreams of him (ryu)ch4: princess and the guard (not for jacinter week)ch5: the silver dress (silver)ch6: seven (song lyric day)
Relationships: Jacin Clay/Winter Hayle-Blackburn
Series: tlc ship weeks 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884253
Comments: 14
Kudos: 16





	1. delirium

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter is for day 4: AU day! i chose a star wars au bc you know that's my shit:) enjoy!

When she’s a royal and you’re a Jedi, what can you do but stand at her side? You tell yourself that you protect her because she’s the queen of an entire planet and you are a simple padawan, but you cannot ignore the feeling that swells inside of you when she gives you that dazzling smile, white teeth flashing against dark skin, deep brown eyes that shine with that ethereal beauty.

Queen Hayle-Blackburn is  _ so  _ beautiful, and you can never stop looking at her.

This evening, she wears a backless blue gown, a shimmering sheer layer over smooth satin. You memorize every movement of her as she walks; you want to keep this ingrained in your memory forever, even when you’ve passed your trials and long left this planet.

Hopefully, someday, you’ll see her again.

You were assigned this mission with a moment’s hesitation from your master, the ever-ready and famous Mace Windu. You feel almost as if you don’t deserve him, for you are not especially naturally intelligent or strong-willed. Although you often think, perhaps that is good for what a Jedi should be.

But you are passionate. You care about few things, but what you do take to memory stays there, just as the queen is doing now. She flashes you another soft glance, the scars on her cheek crinkling as her lips turn up.

Before you can realize it, she’s asking you a question, but of course, you didn’t hear it; you were too busy staring at her. You ask her to repeat herself, careful not to let your embarrassment show, and scowl when the royal guard who has become your companion smirks at you.

She has asked you if it’s been difficult protecting her against the assassin that’s been plotting against the crown. You try not to let your feelings show as you reply that it could never be, not with her as company.

_ That  _ slipped out of your mouth without thinking. Now, the entire table is looking at you, and you wish you could duck away, but you feel so exposed with your brutally trimmed hair and the lone braid that runs down the side of your head. Swallowing, you press your lips together, sending a wish out to the Force that no one suspects your intentions.

After the meal, the queen corners you, a light smile playing on her lips, yet somehow innocent, as if she doesn’t know the rules. She asks you what the matter is, but you can’t answer her, because Jedi aren’t meant to have attachments and yet you  _ do _ …

Before you can say anything, however, her lips are on yours, because queens are used to taking what they want, and hers are so soft and pillowy where they touch your skin. She whispers, Jacin, and you suck in a breath, because you have never heard your name spoken that way before...so  _ pure _ , as if it’s a blessed holy word on her tongue.

So that’s what makes you drop the facade of stiffness and stoicism. You embrace her in turn, allowing her to reach her hand to your braid and caress it gently as you press her against the wall, inhaling the sweet scent of that sour apple candy she loves.

You simply dread the moment when you’ll have to let go.

The Jedi Order is your life, and in the grand scheme of things—

But you don’t want to think about that right now, in this moment, when she’s leading you to her rooms with a firm, uncalloused hand, running her hand down your chest, which is somehow now bare, and faintly, you wonder with rising delirium and giddiness if she’s used Force Suggestion on you.

Even if she was, which would be impossible, you wouldn’t care. She is the world to you. In these months that you’ve spent at her side, her eyes alone have been enough to draw you into oblivion, not to mention her wondrous acts of kindness, her loyalty to her people and the Republic, and her soft-spoken assuredness.

When you are curled around her frame on her soft mattress, arms wrapped around hers and breath on her cheek, you can’t think of a place you’d rather be.


	2. by the lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jacin, a materealki who was forced to take jurda parem, goes to winter, an etherealki, for comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day 5 prompt: change the universe (alternate universe - different setting)  
> I'm using the grishaverse for this prompt! if you don't know anything about the grisha trilogy, here are a few notes for reference:  
> \- the grisha are ppl with magical-like powers; materealki manipulate matter and etherealki summon the elements. the darkling is their leader.  
> \- jurda parem is a powerful drug that amplifies grishas' powers and allows them new capabilities, but it's additive and deteriorates a grisha's health
> 
> also! i decided to switch things up a little, so while in canon, jacin comforts winter, this time, she is comforting him, and we get to see a little bit of jacin vulnerability.

Jurda Parem was as every bit as dangerous as Winter had always heard it to be. She’d only heard rumors from the southern ports of Os Kervo, but to be honest, she’d never given it much thought. Jurda Parem would never seep through Ravka’s walls, she was sure of that.

Except, of course, that she’d been wrong.

She was training by the lake one day after the other Etherealki had returned to the Little Palace, when someone stepped up behind her. Winter whirled, expecting to see the Darkling, bidding her return to where the other Grisha stepped, but she was pleasantly surprised to see Jacin Clay instead, dressed not in his Materealki robes, but a simple set of pajamas, the silk material shifting around him as he moved.

“Jacin,” she said softly, unsure of whether to laugh or plunge herself into the lake. Winter didn’t often feel embarrassed, but she couldn’t help but feel the heat creep up her neck, despite the chilly night air. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you,” he replied, not unkindly. “Isn’t it a bit late for training?”

Winter bit her lip and closed her eyes, letting the breeze wash over her face. “It’s never too late for a little practice.” She opened her eyes and sighed. “Alina brought me out here a couple of nights ago so that she could try summoning in the dark. It was rather nice.” At this, she gathered a small spool of condensed air in her fingers, sending it rushing over to Jacin.

He looked rather taken aback, blonde hair fluttering as it caught the breeze. In a quick moment, she saw the barest hint of a surprised smile on his face, as if he was truly seeing her for the first time.

Honestly, she wished she knew him better. The Grisha orders were all kept separate throughout their childhoods, not to mention that they sat at different tables at meals and slept in spaced-out quarters. The only thing that Winter really knew about Jacin was that he was an Alkemi, a Fabrikator that dealt with and manipulated dangerous substances. And that he was cute.

“The Sun Summoner?” Jacin repeated, brows raising at the mention of Alina.

“She is a person, too, you know,” Winter said softly, pulling her gaze away from him and staring out at the dark waters of the lake. “She is just seventeen. Like us.”

“I guess that’s true,” Jacin said begrudgingly. Winter sucked in a breath as he edged closer, blue eyes reflecting the moonlight. With a start, she noticed that his pupils were widened far beyond normal, and his fingers were twitching lightly.

“Jacin...are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he replied sharply, squeezing those beautiful ice-blue eyes shut. He shook his head, apparently trying to clear it.

But Winter was nothing if not perceptive. “You are not fine, Jacin-friend. Is there a reason that you came out here tonight?”

“I just needed air,” he muttered, finally opening his eyes. Winter noticed with a spike of anxiety that his pupils were still oddly dilated. “It’s nauseating, being trapped inside. After—” His lips sealed then, gaze almost fearful.

Winter stepped closer to him, feeling Jacin stiffen as she placed a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. I know that the Darkling doesn’t like us talking like this, between orders, but he is not here.” Taking in a breath, she pulled him into a loose hug, which Winter realized was a difficult task due to his unyielding posture. “You can relax,” she whispered into his ear, a small giggle infused into her voice.

Jacin didn’t move.

“Please tell me what is going on,” Winter tried again. “You are starting to scare me.”

He pulled away quickly, averting his gaze. “I honestly didn’t know where to go, who to come to,” he began to explain slowly. “I was actually told by Cinder that you would be out here.”

She felt a sting of betrayal at that. So he’d only acted surprised, after all? But one look at his face, and she could tell that he was in pain,  _ physical pain _ , so she closed her mouth and listened to him as he spoke.

“The King, as you know, is not the best kind of man,” Jacin continued with a bitter grimace. “He came to the Fabrikator’s workshops yesterday and made David and I take this potion, Jurda Parem. One Durast, one Alkemi. It was lovely to taste and made us able to do incredible things. David turned lead into gold.”

That, she knew, was impossible, beyond the limits of what Durasts could do. “How—?”

“I don’t know,” Jacin replied shortly, sighing. “Whatever it is, it has very addictive qualities. I already want more. And I know I shouldn’t.”

Winter barely knew what to say. Where had their protector been? “Why didn’t the Darkling stop him?” she asked Jacin with rising fury. He had hurt the Grisha, and yet their leader had not been there?

“He was away until the evening,” Jacin said. “With the Sun Summoner.” His words were almost spat out.

“Alina,” Winter corrected him.

“Alina!” Jacin repeated, throwing his hands into the air. “Yes, her! But it doesn’t matter. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

And Winter suddenly realized how desperate he must have been, coming to her, a mediocre Etherealki, for advice. Someone he’d barely spoken to before. A cloud passed by them overhead, and in the newly brightened light reflected on the lake, Winter could see that Jacin’s eyes were red, his skin pale and dry. What had they  _ done  _ to him?

“We have to tell the Darkling,” she whispered. It was the only thing she’d ever learned to do. He was their shield against the crown.

“He won’t care about two insignificant Materealki!” Jacin cried, his voice breaking. Winter felt a sob rise into her throat. He was always so poised, so coiffed. So beautiful. She had never seen him this way before, emotions laid vulnerable before her, and yet he was beautiful still.

She thought hard for another minute, biting her lip. “I think...he will listen to Alina if she brings it up with him.” The Darkling didn’t care for most people, but he hung onto her every word.

Nothing and no one went unnoticed by Winter Hayle-Blackburn.

Jacin shook his head and began to walk away. “I don’t even know why I came out here. I’m sorry for bothering you, Winter.”

“That’s okay,” she said quietly. “But even if it amounts to nothing, should I still tell Alina that this happened?”

“If you think it will help,” he said with a shrug. She sensed that there was more that he wanted to say, but she didn’t push any farther. He would talk when he needed to.

Finally, after a long moment, Jacin turned back around, his bloodshot eyes fixating on her. “Can I...stay out here?” he asked.

“Why would that be up to me, Jacin-friend?” Winter said in reply, a smile creeping up her face.

They settled down against a tree, Winter drawing her thick blue kefta around them both. “Is this good?” she asked.

“It’s perfect,” Jacin whispered, and Winter could have sworn that she saw him smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! comments and kudos are always appreciated. stay safe!


	3. sometimes, she dreams of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im trying our fandom poetry, wish me luck.
> 
> prompt: jacinter ship week day 6: ryu

Sometimes, she dreams of him.

A cold night

A seeping wound and stolen blood that isn’t hers

At her side, a shining knight

He killed her?

He did not kill her.

He is beside her, kissing her in his arms

She feels as if she could stay here forever.

But the white wolf is dead beside her

A body losing its heat quickly

Ryu, her solace

Ryu, her solitude

So she squeezes Jacin tightly

His embrace a guarded wall

Except that the walls are bleeding

The walls are bleeding with Ryu’s blood

And she is pleading

For all these memories to be carried away by some sort of flood

But that’s not how the world works, is it?

She is a princess

He is a guard

She sees Ryu lying there, prone

There is nothing Jacin can do that will atone

For what he did.

But he had to do it, right?

She just wants to curl up in a ball and sleep for eternity

She has no will left in her to fight

Maybe her stepmother was right.

Maybe she is just a silly girl with a pretty face

Beloved by the people, but to the rest, a disgrace

She finds herself still alive

At least, for now, she must continue this way

For Jacin, at least, she must survive

She has always loved him

She dreams with him now

Beside him on cold nights and warm alike

And Ryu?

Sometimes, she dreams of that dark night.

Sometimes, she dreams of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos/comments are always appreciated! stay safe<3
> 
> feedback q's:  
> \- would you suggest any structure changes for future poems?  
> \- i hope i did winter's lunar sickness justice, please lmk if i did  
> \- this is kind of like ptsd/flashback ish. does it come across that way, or just an in the moment thing?


	4. princess and the guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anon request: _Can you do a fic of Jacinter playing together, but they're grown up now?_  
>  @jacihayle asked something similar, where the crew walks in on them kissing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not for jacinter ship week.

“You are supposed to be protecting me, Sir Clay!” Winter grumbled, pulling on Jacin’s sleeve. “What are you looking at?” She poked her head around each side of his shoulder, dark eyes blinking curiously.

“Nothing, your highness,” Jacin replied quickly. When he saw her expression shift to suspicion, that cool perceiving gaze penetrating into his own, he sighed. “I thought I saw someone I knew.”

In reality, he’d seen a beautiful bouquet of rare Earthen flowers that were quite hard-to-come-by on Luna, and he had wanted to gift them to her. He just didn’t have the means. Or, perhaps, he did–surely Kai was willing to lend him some univs. Jacin didn’t like being in anyone’s debt, but he would do it if it meant he could make Winter happy. And flowers, natural things of beauty, always seemed to do just that.

“A guard’s first and foremost duty is to protect his charge, in this case, me,” Winter sniffed with a mock-haughty tone. Jacin could still detect the hidden smile underneath all that pretend pompousness, and it made him just want to kiss her then and there. Winter was stunning all the time, but especially when she was enjoying herself. That smile made his whole heart melt into a puddle of gooey jelly, and Jacin was certainly _not_ a gooey person. “I am here at your side, your highness,” he murmured with a stony face, his eyes the only feature that betrayed his amusement.

“You cannot protect me from so far away,” Winter whispered back, her head tilting towards him so that her flouncy curls brushed his neck. “Why don’t you come closer? There is no more evil queen to separate us, Sir Clay.”

Jacin heaved in a shaky breath. Even after all this time, her nearness was intoxicating. “Winter…”

Their lips were so close, only a breath-length away. “Jacin–” Winter began, but he was already kissing her, mouth pressing against her pillowy lips, and he heard her sigh against him. He opened his mouth to hers, and felt himself be enveloped in the taste of her; his hand was pulling on her waist, her hand was caressing the hard plane of his cheek–

“Winter! There you–oh,” called a familiar voice, accompanied by hurried footsteps. Scarlet stood there a few paces away, hands awkwardly raised into the air. After a few seconds, she dropped them, glancing around the street. “Public display of affection, much?” Scarlet asked, a small huff of laughter escaping her throat. Jacin frowned, but he knew how… _forthright_ …she could be, and he knew she meant well.

“What is it, Scarlet-friend?” Winter finally asked, stepping away from Jacin, leaving the front of his body cold and lonely. He never knew how good Winter’s presence was until it disappeared.

“You two are going to miss the banquet at this rate,” Scarlet chided them. A few more clattering footsteps sounded behind her, and soon Thorne and Wolf were standing there, panting.

“I can’t believe you can run faster than me,” Thorne remarked to the red-haired woman at his side, shaking his head. He turned to face Jacin and Winter. “What were _you_ two doing?” he asked, raising his eyebrow and smirking.

“Playing Princess and the Guard,” Winter answered sweetly and truthfully. Jacin groaned, and Thorne laughed. “Playing?” he asked with a chuckle.

“It’s…not something you’d understand,” Jacin said stiffly. “Let’s just get going.”

They headed back to the Lunar Palace, the beautiful structure looming over them like a beautiful dream, or perhaps a redeemed nightmare. Jacin tapped Winter’s hand lightly, and she took it with a smile. “Thank you, Sir Clay.”

“Anything for you, Princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i made a mistake somewhere, feel free to comment w/ feedback! or any feedback in general; it’s funny, because i can write smut well but ask me to write a kiss and i go “maven.exe has stopped working”  
> (it’s also been a while since I’ve read the series–i need to reread it SO BADLY–so i apologize for inaccuracies)


	5. the silver dress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt for day 7 (yes i know I'm doing this late): _silver_

There’s a silver gown hanging in the back of Winter’s wardrobe. Sometimes, as the days approach Cinder’s birthday, she holds the smooth fabric up to her nose, running the silken material across her cheek.  _ Only a few more days, and you can wear this _ .

She wouldn’t normally be sucked in to materialistic things, pretty things, but this dress was bought for her by Jacin, and when he’d given it to her, he’d had a warm smile on his face, ice-blue eyes twinkling in the evening light. It had been such a nice day, with a slight breeze and a purple-pink sunset.

She hadn’t wanted it to end.

But alas, it had, and when they parted, Jacin had dragged her over to a small vintage dress store, a smirk on his usually expressionless face. Inside, he’d asked the woman behind the desk to bring out the gown he’d put on hold, and as he’d said so, she had given him a knowing look.

Winter still didn’t know how expensive it had been, but she was sure that Jacin had spent a lot of univs on it, and the thought itself melted her heart until it was nothing more than a pile of mush. Stars above, he could be so selfless, and though his kind demeanor often only extended to her, Winter didn’t really notice.

So her appreciation of the satin cloth with a bright silver sheen against her skin was not materialistic at all, but instead infused with that sentimentality that Winter often carried around.

Cinder’s birthday was fast approaching, and she couldn’t wait to put it on. Jacin would be there with her, arm extended, a perfect resting place for her hand on the muscles of his clothed forearm. He would dance with her, twirling her around and around, a guard and a princess, alone in an abandoned ballroom, because Winter knew that though there would be hundreds of others there, she would only truly see Jacin.

He would pull her away, or perhaps she’d take him, and they would stumble down a side hallway, empty from all other people, the sounds of laughter and music fading away. Then he would take her hand, push it against the wall above her head, gently holding her there as she would moan and whisper his name.

Of course, Winter knew that in that moment, she would regret that the silver dress took so long to take on and off, with all its intricate lacings and easily torn fabric.

Maybe, once they reached her quarters, she wouldn’t even care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! i love this ship so much *sobbing emoji* feel free to leave a comment if you liked it!


	6. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> allll the way back from august 6 - song lyric day. I chose to take lines from "seven" by Taylor swift because it fits them SO WELL!!

_ i. Please picture me in the trees _ _ /  _ _ I hit my peak at seven _

They are seven, young and carefree, playing Princess and the Guard away from the pressures of society. Winter does not know the struggle of what her father is going through. She and Jacin spend all day playing and pretend-kissing, light laughter echoing through the halls. She doesn’t know what a real tree feels or smells like, but she imagines that she does.

_ ii. Feet in the swing over the creek / I was too scared to jump in _

When she is older, holding her Lunar gift back with a building pressure, Jacin is there to protect her, to hold her during her breakdowns, to whisper small consolations in her ear, to press light kisses to her cheek and jaw.

_ iii. I was high in the sky / Are there still beautiful things? _

She cuts each scar into her cheek, not willing to scream, not willing to give Levana that satisfaction. Her breathing is erratic, but she tries to slow it, to calm it. It’s just three simple cuts. Three simple scars. The people will say that they only accentuate her beauty, but Winter doesn’t know this now. Jacin is the one to run a cool cloth over her cheek, the one to comfort her as she cries. She is a goddess to him, and he’s in awe. Because the Lunars are right: the scars are beautiful.

_ iv. Cross your heart won’t tell no other / I still got love for you _

I serve my Princess, Jacin says in the Sahara. Winter is the only one who will ever hold his heart, and his loyalty runs deeper than anything. He would die for her. Kill for her. Despite everything that keeps them apart, he will always be there for her.

_ v. And I think you should come live with me / Then you won’t have to cry _

He remembers their naive fantasies from so long ago. All that is gone. All he can do is protect her. All he can do is pretend to serve the queen with a clenched jaw and dull eyes, to twist his morals and his heart to protect what he loves the most. Because if something happens to her, Jacin doesn’t know if he will be able to survive.

_ vi. Before I learned civility / I used to scream ferociously _

The Earthen in the cage, fiery Scarlet-friend, does not quite know what it’s like. To be perpetually crazy. Beautiful, and yet never taken seriously. Jacin understands, and it’s a relief, a rushing stream of sweet water when she has him back. But before she knows it, his knife is to her back. His kiss is on her lips. And he lets her go.

_ vii. Passed down like folk songs / Our love lasts so long _

The prince always saves the princess, but Jacin is not a prince. He brings the substance to her dark lips, eyes scrunched when he sees the blood blisters marring her skin. And with a breath of air, she wakes. It’s a miracle—their shared miracle. They will always love each other, against all the odds. After all, that is how the fairy tale goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song is called _seven_...there are seven roman numeral-ed sections...see what i did there? *smirks*  
> i think I'm cleverer than i actually am lol
> 
> anways! kudos/comments always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> don't hesitate to leave a kudos and/or comment! stay safe and have a nice day<3


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